For years, I have dreaded summertime.
As I put on shorts or pulled my hair back to stay cool, all I could see were my flaws.
My ears stick out. My legs are always a ghostly white. And how could I ever forget the boy in high school that would point out if my legs jiggled even a little bit?
I was wildly self-conscious about all of these things and more for most of my teens and twenties. But finally, after 30 years of sweating in jeans in the middle of July, I decided enough was enough. 2021 would be the year I traded my insecurity for summery dresses and a ponytail.
Shortly after I had made this decision, a couple of videos of me and my husband went “viral.”
It didn’t take long for some hurtful comments to pop in. There were a lot of people discussing my weight, since I weigh more than my chronically ill husband. A handful of people told me I looked like Jay Leno and that I needed to get a chin reduction ASAP. And one troll even decided to tell me that I should no longer exist.
It was brutal. A few years ago, it would’ve crushed me and possibly chased me off of social media forever.
But I was able to laugh it off.
After years of hiding anything that could be perceived as a flaw, this reaction shocked me. How had my mindset shifted so drastically?
It didn’t happen overnight, but here are 3 things I’ve gotten intentional about reminding myself whenever insecurities creep in:
1. No one is noticing me….
When you walk into the grocery store, what’s on your mind? For me, there are a million things I’m thinking about: What do I need? Should I buy organic? What’s actually on sale? Did I forget my coupons at home? Is our sour cream still good? I should’ve brought my reusable bags. Do we need breakfast food? Are we out of pop?
And these are all things I’ve thought before even getting out of the produce section!
I don’t have a second of free space to even consider what other people in the store are wearing. Yet, how many times have I changed before going out to run errands because of what others might think of me? How often do I put on makeup for no other reason but to go out in public for some meaningless chores?
Sometimes, our insecurities scream so loudly in our minds that it’s deafening. But we’re the only ones that can hear them.
2. ….but when they do, they have their own insecurities to focus on
While point number 1 is true 99% of the time, occasionally, yes, someone will notice the thing that you wish were hidden. Just like those rude commenters, they may even point it out. But worst-case scenario?
The thing they’re pointing out is their way of masking their own insecurities.
If my weight makes someone else feel better about the way that they’re hurting today, I’m not the one who needs to fix something.
3. This is who God created me to be.
I’m thankful for my protruding chin and large ears because I get to put on headphones and talk for a living.
I’m thankful for the little extra weight I’ve gained lately because it shows that I’ve survived some traumatic things.
I’m thankful for my scarred and bruised legs because even though I keep bumping them into EVERYTHING, I’m learning to stand tall on them.
And I’m thankful that when I DON’T feel thankful for the parts of my body I don’t always like, I have people in my life who remind me that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.
Discovering the Key to Healthy Body Image & Self Worth
When I’m not at work, I love catching up with friends one-on-one, binge-watching TV, or just cuddling up with my husband Joey and our clumsy dog Hadley.
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Thank you for your transparency and also sharing your walk with Jesus. So many people need to hear this and know the truth of your three reminders. They’re all true and totally freeing! You are a wonderful testimony; stay close to your Creator!
You are beautiful, unique, one of a kind, the way God made you! Take pride in your beauty and strength, you are a child of GOD!
Hi Bekah. It’s always a process to let negativity go. From the mouth of Jeremy camp, take this out of my hands. You’re beautiful because God made you. God bless you. Keep up the great work at the radio station
You can see the scars from knee replacements (2 each) and I have hated my cankles my whole life. And by the end of the day, they will be super swollen. I prefer to wear capris (I call them my shorty-pants) but I remind myself to be glad I have good, strong legs that can carry me just about anywhere I need to go. I’m not sure why people feel the need to point out our imperfections. I agree with you-if by putting others down, that makes them feel better, then “have at it!!” 😁 A couple of weeks ago,… Read more »
I’m thankful for fearfully and wonderfully made YOU!🤗
Thank you for your honesty. I’m 5′ 11″ so I understand being awkward and clumsy and all those things. But I am now 64 and I realize God loves me and thinks I am beautiful and he loves you to Bekah!!! Hang in there, God’s got us!
Did you know that you are Prayed for each day? You are an inspiration to me, and many others. You and Joey are such great examples of “Living through Adversity” that God has placed on this earth to teach us how His Love covers us. Any flaws, that I might have, are not what is on God’s mind — He wants to know if I have extended Love to his Creations as He has covered me with His Love! Thank you for being YOU! You are Loved by Many!
Just be yourself The Lord will be with you
For me, right now it’s about survival… and in survival mode, nothing matters about your appearance but some people make comments that seem harsh or double-edged. Mine is about breathing through the moment, laughing it off and focusing on the important stuff. I’m my own worse critic and whatever someone says I probably already had a talk w myself about anyway. So their message isn’t new… neither is Gods in that He is my creator… perfect in His image.
Thank you for sharing this Bekah, these are great tips. It is super hard to let these hurtful comments roll off your back, but you are spot on with what you said. Also remember you are a daughter of the King! I love that picture that is often shared with the little girl straightening her crown. Keep that in mind too! I love listening to your words of wisdom and funny stories, you are great at your job!
Bekah,
Dale Carnegie in his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, wrote “When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves.” When I read that, I was blown away but it makes sense, doesn’t it? You have a beautiful smile, so keep shining!