“How to Build Trust and Connection with Defiant Teens” with guest Kirsten Cobabe

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Former therapist and renowned “Teen Whisperer” Kirsten Cobabe joins Rania Mankarious for a candid discussion about the true heart of the parent-teen relationship. Drawing from over 20 years working with children and families, Kirsten unpacks why understanding your own “inner teen” is essential for authentic connection, how to respond to defiance as an invitation, and the importance of modeling healthy relationship boundaries. This conversation blends personal stories with practical strategies for evolving your family dynamic, meeting your teen where they are, and moving past generational patterns.

Learn more about Kirsten here, and follow her on Instagram here.

Key Takeaways

1. Recognizing and working through your own unresolved experiences from adolescence is fundamental for authentic, effective parenting. When parents ignore their “inner teen,” unresolved issues can get passed to children, making it harder to respond with empathy and insight.

2. Teen behaviors, especially challenging ones, should be reframed as invitations to connect and get curious. Instead of moving immediately to discipline, using these moments to reflect on why they trigger you can open doors to more meaningful relationships.

3. Authoritative parenting, which balances love with consistent boundaries, is proven to foster healthier dynamics than authoritarian or permissive models. Kids thrive when parents are warm, engaged, and clear about expectations.

4. Modeling healthy relationships teaches teens what to expect and aspire to in their own lives. Every interaction, no matter how small, builds trust or erodes it over time.

5. It’s never too late to rebuild connection or repair mistakes, even after something has gone wrong. Successful parenting is about iteration, repair, and growth, not perfection.