How I Made 20 New Friends in One Summer

Before this summer, the thought of making 20 new friends in just a couple of months felt like stuff for the movies… or summer camp.

Like most churches, small groups take a short break during the summer. Then a scary idea popped into my head: “What if I started my own get-togethers?” Maybe we could grab dinner or coffee… but what if it could be deeper than that?

I had just added The Better Friend by Grace Valentine to my reading list. I bought it hoping to learn how I could better support the friends God has placed in my life and maybe build new connections. Then I thought, what if I read it with other women? What if I started a book club?

The idea intimidated me. It felt like asking someone to lunch and waiting for them to say yes—or worse, no. But I pushed past the fear and invited the women at my church. I told them I’d love for each one of them to join me. And guess what? Nearly 20 women signed up! I was stunned.

For the next seven Wednesdays, we gathered to discuss what we were reading, the lessons we were learning, and how we’re not alone in trying to juggle all the things life throws at us. We laughed, cried, and encouraged one another. Along the way, I learned many things, but three lessons stood out:

1. Just Say “Yes”

I was nervous to start a book club. What if no one came? What if I wasn’t a good leader? What if it flopped? But some of life’s most meaningful things start with a shaky yes. Saying yes doesn’t mean you have it all figured out—it simply means you’re willing to show up and trust God with the outcome. That small yes led to deeper connections—not only between me and the other women, but also among them.

2. People Are Hungry for Connection—Even If They Don’t Say It

I assumed everyone but me was too busy or already had their close circle of friends. But I learned that when you create a space for connection, women show up. Many of us are quietly carrying loneliness, and all it takes is a little intentionality to create room for community and healing.

3. You Don’t Have to Be the Expert to Make an Impact

I can talk easily into a microphone or one-on-one, but the idea of leading a room full of women made me freeze. Thankfully, God can use even my deer-in-headlights moments for His purpose. You don’t need to be a theology major, a polished speaker, or the life of the party to lead something meaningful. God values availability over ability.

At the end of our seven weeks, we celebrated with a party—complete with diplomas and words of encouragement for one another. 20 new friends now fill my contacts list, my prayer list, and my heart. Some were strangers in June, but by August, they were swapping inside jokes and sharing real-life struggles.

A book club may not be your style, but your version might look completely different—movie nights, volunteering, or meeting at a park. Whatever it is, a simple “yes” can open the door to friendships you didn’t see coming.

Looking back, I realize this never would’ve happened if I had waited for the “perfect” time or if I had let fear win. God used one small “yes” to create connections that will last far beyond a few months. Summer may have ended, but the friendships are just getting started. I can’t describe how grateful I felt seeing so many women, who were shy at first, laughing together like lifelong friends.

I’m not perfect, but I’m thankful God can still use me to create a place for connection, friendship, and His love. It truly does a heart good.