Neither one of my teenagers were excited to decorate for Christmas this year.

As we opened the bins and started unboxing the tangled garland, I couldn’t help but be reminded of my childhood.

I was the middle child and I’ll never forget being excited to help decorate for Christmas. I watched TV shows and saw the joy of Christmas and dreamed of having that in our house too. Even though the only house we could afford was the ugliest one on the block, it was ours, and it was home.

My mom was a single mom and I was in 3rd grade the year we moved there. Though we didn’t have much, every Christmas she did her best to make it special. She was alone raising three kids.

I’ll never forget the year my mom pulled out the Christmas lights from the dusty bin that had been sitting in our garage and said, “Ok, we’re going to decorate!” If you’ve ever untangled Christmas lights, you know the struggle. These lights were no exception.

She’d untangle one knot only to create another, and I could feel her anxiety rising with each pull. I’m sure she was tired that day. She was juggling long work hours and doing everything she could to stay on her path to sobriety. Yet, even in her exhaustion, she showed up, determined to make the season special.

My mom was getting more and more upset and in her frustration she looked at me and said, “You see Reyna, this is why you can’t ever depend on a man, ever!”

In her anger, eventually, her words became more colorful than the lights as she remembered all the men who’d let her down. All the men who made her promises and didn’t keep them. I watched on as she vented, wishing I could say something to make it better, but I was speechless.

My dad was spending another Christmas in prison that year and I sure did miss him.

Eventually, we got the lights untangled, and my mom got on a ladder. With nails and a hammer, she strung the lights onto our dull house. Finally, it was done and all that was left was to plug the lights in.

Then we realized the window we needed to put the extension cord through was boarded up.

A few weeks earlier, my mom had boarded up the side window with long nails and plywood to keep my brother from sneaking out. He was a teenager at the time and a boarded up window was her best effort to keep him out of trouble. Now, as we held the extension cord, staring at the sealed window, my heart sank—surely she’d be upset again.

To my surprise, she laughed instead.

I stared at her, confused, as she burst into laughter. Through her roar of laughter, she said, “I remember thinking to myself, ‘let’s see him try and get through here now!’ Now here I am trying to get through. I guess the jokes on me!”

We eventually plugged in the lights and our little ugly house shined bright.

We were an imperfect, dysfunctional little family, but we were there and we were making it.

Years before, that wasn’t the case.

I was only 2 years old when I was taken away from my mom by Child Protective Services. Both mom and dad were struggling with drugs and alcohol, and that year my big brother and I spent Christmas living with grandma.

My grandma’s house was warm and magical! She played games with us, made us good food, and adored me. But that Christmas, I spent most of my time staring out the window, waiting for my mom. Because Christmas just wasn’t Christmas without her.

Now I’m in her shoes—a single mom, doing my best to make the season special.

Though those Christmas memories were a struggle, today I’m better for them. I have a deeper understanding of the gift it is to be with my daughters-

And they taught me something invaluable: I’m not alone in this journey, and neither are you.

If I could go back and tell my mom anything that day I was standing across from her untangling those lights; I would have said,

Mom you are doing a great job. Thank you for giving it your all. I know you weren’t prepared to do this alone, but you’re not. Jesus is with us. He is taking care of us and I know He’s proud of you!

Maybe this season finds you in a similar place—juggling more than you can handle, navigating changes, or simply trying to make it through. Whatever you’re facing, I want to remind you that God keeps His promises::

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. | Isaiah 41:10

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you. | Isaiah 26:3

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. | Matthew 11:28-29

Now that I know Who is with me, I will decorate my little giddy heart out- I’ll host a Christmas party, I’ll embrace this season with great expectation, I’ll have fun cooking and I’ll honor my parents because they, though not perfect, made me who I am today.

Knowing Jesus as my Lord and Savior is the greatest gift and it’s what Christmas is truly about. If you’ve never asked Jesus into your heart, and want to you can say this prayer.

Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You came, You died for my sins, and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You. In Jesus name, Amen

Congratulations friend, the adventure starts now! This doesn’t mean your life will all of a sudden be perfect or that you’ll never make a mistake but it does mean that Jesus is with you.

This season won’t be perfect, and neither will we. But we’re not alone, and that changes everything. You’ve got this because He’s got you.

I love you and hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

Your friend, Reyna

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