Pregnant

I remember the first time I knew I was pregnant.

I remember that first moment I knew that life was being shared with mine.

I remember that first knowing that my breath was breathing and exhaling for another.

My heartbeat was different…not just the rhythm but the reason it was beating suddenly felt different.

The idea that I was carrying a being with purpose.

I began to think differently.

I began to eat differently.

I began to dream differently.

I began to plan differently.

While there were no visible signs early on, it was me who’s life beat with a new reason.

I picture Mary…as I had felt.

She woke up one day to an awareness that her life and breath were no longer her own.
Her heartbeat was different… skipping to a rhythm entirely unique to what she had always known.

Her purpose was different for she carried the beating heart of the one who would come and mend the hearts of humanity.

How beautiful to know that hope and peace was pulsing through her veins.

I know the responsibility felt when carrying a child..you feel a bit like God ..and yet, she…blessed Mary full of grace was carrying Him…young Mary was carrying the Savior of the world in her womb.

Within her frame she carried fear, hope, expectation and deliverance inside the walls of her own human frailty.

Within her she carried Love.

Love had come.

Love had come… just like Love promised it would… Love had come to:

“… bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
² to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.”

(Isaiah 61:1-3)

Wrapped in flesh…

Love had come.

And the same Love that was birthed through the beloved young girl named Mary who answered the call to behold love within her is the same Love that has been reborn in us.

Love has come.

We carry within our own broken, tattered, weary frames the spirit of the living God of redemption.

Love has come to… us.

Love lives in… us.

So we must live… like love lives in us.

I think of how carefully I carried myself all of those precious 9 months of pregnancy. I think of how particular I was about protecting that which lived within me and I am convicted all over again to protect and carry myself as the precious Savior lives in me.

I remind myself that I must breathe differently. Breathe in the truth of Gods word, His promises, His love and exhale His hope to a broken world around me. This means stepping outside of my comfort zone, getting out of my own head, removing my excuses or hindrances that keep me from sharing the life within me…

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.”

(Isaiah 61:1)

I remind myself to think differently. My thoughts often center around worrying, fretting and trying to control the trivial things of the here and now. At times my fears keep me from living externally as though something has transformed me inwardly. Thoughts are powerful…

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

Most of all, I am reminded to love differently… and I suppose that means forgiveness. Since love came specifically to forgive me, I’m called to forgive, I’m called to give mercy, I’m called to love because…

Love because love came for me.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

“We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:18:19)

Love has come for us.

Love has come so that we would be living, breathing beings who live, share, and breathe His Love.