Let’s face it—life can feel like one big messy game of Jenga, and sometimes, it all comes crashing down at once.

Whether it’s work drama, family chaos, or that mystery bill you definitely don’t remember charging, stress has a sneaky way of creeping into our lives. I know this firsthand because one of the scariest moments of my life was when my husband Neal was diagnosed with stage four cancer at the young age of thirty-eight. It was a time when everything felt completely out of control, and fear was my constant companion.

But here’s the kicker—through this long and terrifying journey, we discovered how little control we really had. What we did have was a whole bunch of amazing friends, excellent doctors, an incredible support system, and a loving, patient God who didn’t give up on us, even when we were feeling lost. It was a lesson in letting go and leaning into faith.

So, if you’re struggling with daily stresses (or feeling like your life’s been put on shuffle mode), here are three habits from my book, “The 12 Habits for a Sound Mind and Joyful Life”, to help you navigate those messy moments. Let’s dive in with a little humor, encouragement, and a big dose of faith!

Habit 1: Navigating Fear with Faith and Courage (Because Running Away Isn’t an Option)

Fear has a way of making us feel like that one kid in dodgeball who’s just waiting to get hit. And believe me, during Neal’s illness, fear felt like an uninvited guest who just wouldn’t leave. I remember one night driving home in the pouring rain, screaming at God (I’m sure the people in the cars next to me thought I was having a very animated phone call). I was overwhelmed, scared, and feeling utterly helpless.

But in that quiet, desperate moment, I felt God’s gentle reminder: “I love you.” Simple, but so powerful. Fear’s biggest trick is convincing us that we’re alone, powerless, and stuck. But here’s the good news: God’s perfect love is way stronger than fear’s annoying voice. 1 John 4:18 tells us:

“Perfect love casts out fear.”

That’s right, fear—take that! So let’s not just dodge fear; let’s hit back with faith, courage, and maybe a little bit of sass.

Practical Steps to Navigate Fear:

Name Your Fears. Write them down, shout them out, or doodle them on a napkin. When you name your fears, they lose some of their scariness, like when you finally see the “monster” under the bed was just an old sock.
Choose Faith Over Fear. Trust that God’s got your back, even when you’re not sure how things will work out. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own understanding.” So, toss that overthinking aside and lean into faith—you don’t have to have it all figured out.
Surround Yourself with Faith Builders. Find your people—the ones who cheer you on, remind you of God’s promises, and bring the good snacks to every get-together. Life’s too short to do it alone.

Habit 2: Confronting Rejection (Or, How to Survive Life’s “No’s” with a Smile)

Rejection is like that “no” you never asked for. It could be the job that didn’t call back, the friend who forgot your birthday, or the one-star Yelp review that’s totally unfair. But hey, let’s reframe this: Rejection isn’t the end of the world; it’s just the universe’s way of saying, “Hey, not this way—let’s try another.”

In my counseling practice, I’ve seen people transform their entire outlook by flipping the script on rejection. One client kept missing out on promotions and felt like throwing in the towel (and maybe the whole laundry basket). But instead of seeing every “no” as a personal flaw, he started viewing them as redirections—a little nudge to tweak his approach and keep growing. It wasn’t long before his proactive mindset paid off. The same can happen for you: let rejection be your GPS recalculating you toward something even better.

Practical Steps to Confront Rejection:

Practice Self-Compassion: Be Your Own Cheerleader. Look, if you wouldn’t call your best friend a “failure” after a rough day, don’t do it to yourself! Be kind, cut yourself some slack, and remember nobody’s perfect, and you’re doing the best you can.
Seek Connection, Not Isolation. Rejection has this sneaky way of making us want to hide out like hermits, but trust me, staying connected is the antidote. Find your people, share your story, and remember that every setback is just one chapter in a much bigger, more exciting book.
Turn Rejection into a Tool for Growth. Think of rejection as a weirdly motivational coach yelling from the sidelines, “You’ve got this, keep going!” Use it to sharpen your skills, redefine your goals, and remind yourself that every closed door is just a step closer to the right one.

Habit 3: Nurture Your Support System (Because We All Need Backup)

Life’s a lot easier with a squad. Through Neal’s illness, I learned that a solid support system isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s essential. Friends, family, mentors—these are the people who help us navigate the rough waters (and keep us from drowning in our own mess).

Building those relationships takes time and effort, like watering a plant (without the fear of accidentally overwatering it). It’s about reaching out, making time, and investing in those who matter most. And when the going gets tough, they’ll be there to remind you that you’re never in this alone.

Practical Steps to Healthy Relationships:

Nurture Your Support System. Be intentional about connecting with your loved ones. Even if it’s just a quick text to say, “Thinking of you,” it all adds up. Your support system is your lifeline—don’t let it wither.
Communicate Openly and Honestly. Nothing gets through stress like a good heart-to-heart. Don’t bottle up your fears or frustrations. Share them with those you trust and let them help carry the load.
Set Healthy Boundaries. Know when to say no. Protect your time, energy, and peace. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s essential. You can’t be everything to everyone, and that’s okay. These habits are about more than just surviving the messes—they’re about thriving in them. By navigating fear with faith, confronting rejection with grace, and nurturing your relationships, you’re building resilience and joy that can withstand any storm.

So, take a deep breath, keep going, and remember—you’ve got this, and God’s got you.

This is an excerpt from “The 12 Habits for a Sound Mind and Joyful Life.” Tap HERE to order your copy to keep you grounded, encouraged, and maybe even a little entertained on this wild ride called life.

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