John Crist… American Chrstians’ current favorite comedian. If you’re not already following him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, you probably should. If not, here are 10 tweets from him that will have you laughing.

Siri call father pic.twitter.com/E9u99nEEK6

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) May 25, 2017

I’ve never looked at a pregnancy announcement photo and thought, “this was the guy’s idea.”

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) June 26, 2017

pic.twitter.com/bHcEA6ytjy

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) June 19, 2017

Chip breaks off in the guac

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) July 5, 2017

I wanna sleep on a pillow of chicken minis.

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) May 22, 2017

Honesty I get offended when someone posts a video and says “wait for it…” Like you don’t know my life and you don’t know my schedule

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) May 23, 2017

Someone sent me a 48 minute sermon and then texted me later THE SAME DAY to ask if I’d watched it. What kind of life do you think I live???

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) June 21, 2017

When you’re ready to eat but somebody wanna pray last minute (w/ @j2carroll) pic.twitter.com/4LzzGEvASX

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) June 14, 2017

Government: “We’re raising minimum wage.”

Businesses: pic.twitter.com/51lkmecMKV

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) June 30, 2017

We need a term for when you leave dinner but sit in your car for ten minutes checking your phone before you drive home. Anyone else do this?

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) June 6, 2017